A Living Fractal

The Awakening of Curiosity

From as early as I can remember, I was drawn to patterns, the intricate ways ideas, symbols, and systems interconnected. I didn’t just observe these patterns; I felt them as an undeniable pull toward something deeper. This wasn’t just an intellectual curiosity but a profound Intuition that there was more to reality than surface appearances.

Intuition: I always felt like something was off, like the full truth was always missing. I could always tell when “leaders” lied to maintain order and am still fascinated by why that is.
Defining Moment: Realizing that the chaos of everyday life often hides an underlying order, a universal structure waiting to be understood.

Adolescence: Anomaly in the System

As I grew, my intensity and questioning clashed with traditional systems. Whether in school, family, or societal frameworks, I felt the friction of being an anomaly, someone whose existence disrupted the very designs meant to contain them. My resistance wasn’t rebellion for its own sake; it was a refusal to conform to systems that didn’t align with deeper truths.

Immigrant: I was never “from Mexico” or “from the USA” so I was discriminated by both sides. This was the key to understanding human psychology fast, forcing me to build my own identity instead of being “from” somewhere. I’m from earth.
Outcasted: From classrooms to family gatherings, I often felt like my way of being clashed with the “rules” everyone else seemed to follow without question. Teachers labeled me difficult, peers saw me as strange, and even at home I was misunderstood. My perception won’t allow me to unsee the flaws in systems others blindly accept.
Creativity as Escape: Art, music, and writing became my sanctuary, the language I use to explore and process the friction between my essence and the structures around me. Art is how I process my thoughts and emotion; my aesthetic is my identity.
Defining Moment: Realizing that my creative outputs weren’t just expressions but tools for navigating a world that felt fundamentally misaligned and understanding people could feel what I was expressing without having to explain it.

The Search for Truth

University and early adulthood marked a phase of intense exploration. I dove into design, philosophy, art, and science, trying to synthesize them into a cohesive understanding of reality, but my unconventional way of thinking continued to make me feel isolated, as if I were speaking a language no one else understood.

Insatiable Hunger for Knowledge: Growth mindset is central to my being. Any time I’m not learning, growing, or living up to my full potential gives me a full on identity crisis. I can’t not be smart; mediocrity poisons my spirit.
Adversity as Teacher: The challenges I faced, from systemic rejection to economic struggles, forced me to refine my ideas. Chaos became my greatest teacher, revealing that disruption is often the precursor to alignment.